Majority of my life has only consisted of my mum, my younger sister & myself. My dad decided one night that his time was up & so he made the choice to end it himself. Now while this can turn into a story of tragedy, I live my life as a story of triumph. My family has overcome the past & yes, inside we still grieve but the greatest decision we ever made was to move on. Moving on wasn't & still to this day isn't easy, but with the right support & love it makes the process a lot smoother.
Its Mothers day, so why am I talking about my father? Well mum had to play both roles in our lives. No matter who came in & out of mums life she always played the double parent role. Which means we got double the love, double the attention & double the consequences. So to me, with my Mum, it is more like Wonder-woman day!
Mum is a woman of simplicity, If it can be done cheap or free she's happy. A trait she has picked up from my nana, which essentially has been passed to me HOWEVER I like cheap things in large quantities, so really it doesn't work out as cheap as I assumed, but that's a story for my future kids to blog about ;) So being the eldest, every year I organise a day for our Mum, wether it be her favourite breakfast, going to bingo, shopping or even just lounging at home watching TV. This year was a little different, not for any reason besides that I didn't execute anything & so I suffered.
Every year Mum pulls the same 'Surprised' face when she opens up her gifts, when we all know well & truly she has been texting us for a whole month prior with UN-subtle hints about what she's needing. This year, all mum wanted was a piece of gym equipment & the usual, my sister & I by her side kissing her good morning. Things didn't go to plan & so it was a rough morning.
Lets just say the morning began with a black eye & busted lip but ended with a new pair of shoes & a good lunch. For the record, I ended up with the Black eye and busted lip. I love my family more than life itself & I made a promise that no matter how bad my temper may be, there's two people I would never lay a hand on, thats my mum & my sister. This particular morning tested my promise & while I am happy I kept it, I am sad it happened. Just a side note, if my 19 year old, petite sized sister ever got into a physical altercation, I am happy to know she can hold her own, my jacked up eye is living proof of that.
So after playing the blame game with my sister & having my husband & step dad rip my sister off me, I held my mum and let her cry. Since the day I was born my mum has held & comforted me & this was one of the rare times where I had mum in my arms comforting her. Walking in on Mothers day and seeing my mum with her head in her hands crying because I wasn't with her that morning killed me inside. I have always known that to some point I am mums backbone, the one who makes sure plans get followed though, the one who will get the job done, this year I let mum down & I never want to do it again.
That day Satan himself came upon our family & he bought along his good ol' mate contention. It seems as though of late my life has been full of times where I am contended with a person or a thing, 9 times out of 10 I win because I choose to walk away, but remember I am not perfect & so that 1 time I slip is the 1 time I allowed him to take over. This particular day, he had won. He had us like putty in his hands yelling at each other, screaming, fighting, hurting, crying but while holding my Mum in my arms I prayed, I pleaded, I begged for Satan to leave.
As I finshed my heartfelt plea, my little brother came banging on the sliding door, he had a smile from ear to ear screaming in his high pitch voice as if to say "Let me outside, I want to hug too" I opened the door & held him, I held our latest & greatest blessing in our life. The timing of my brother tapping on the door, made me realise that was Heavenly Fathers way letting us know Satan is gone, joy is here. Not long after, the rest of my family came out & we sat outside, together as a family, just like mum wanted all along.
Mothers day this year taught me that the greatest gift to give to your mum is yourself, you her child, her offspring, her blessing from god. I am one of my mums greatest gifts, & I think Heavenly Father chose her to be my mum because only she could ever know how to love me, care for me & mould me into being the woman I am today.
For those who face a trial on Mothers day, I send my love to you as a fellow sister. I reassure you that as a woman this day, someone appreciates all you do & while you may not be their mother as such, you are loved for the duties you fufill in their life wether they be big or small.
I have met a tonne of women in my time & they in some way have taught me a lesson of life & I'm grateful. I love the women in my family who have loved me unconditionally. I love my mother in law for teaching my husband how to love & treat a woman. I love my Grandmothers for all the sacrifices they made for my parents & also for their traditional island cooking skills. Most of all I love my Mother who has without a doubt been the greatest example of strength, courage & love. If I can be half the mother to my kids, that my mother was to me, I will be happy as I know without her I am nothing.
Love your mum, buy her teatowels & don't forget to pray!
T x
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